Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Bathroom Door

The more I hear about MRSA, the more of a germaphobe I become. Unfortunately, this has led me down some paths of truly bizarre logic.

Take, for instance, the the door to the men's room at my office.

Like most men's rooms, you push the door to open it. And like most there's a metal plate where you're supposed to do the pushing.

For as long as I can remember, I've always avoided the "men's room door plate" like the plague, envisioning all the other people who've touched that plate and figuring that I was literally avoiding the plague by avoiding the plate. I've picked some spot above or below or to the side of that plate to push on instead.

Until today.

Today I had an epiphany as I was approaching the men's room: That door is filthy. The plate is shiny with nary a finger smudge on it. Everyone else is ALSO avoiding the plate which, when you think about it, is THE ONLY PLACE ON THE DOOR THAT ACTUALLY GETS CLEANED REGULARLY BY THE HOUSEKEEPING STAFF.


So now I just go outside and pee in the bushes.

1 comment:

Michael said...

Dude! You have no idea where that bush has been! Don't put your package anywhere near it! Didn't your parents teach you anything?

I always use my foot in the bathroom. Flush the toilet, put down the lid, turn on the sink, kick open the door; I can do it all with my shoe. Wisdom to live by.