Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Carl's Guide to TOS Movies in JJ Abrams' Alternate Trek Universe

[Warning: SPOILERS]

For those Trekkers who are consumed by trying to figure out how Abrams will reconcile the events that take place in the first 6 Star Trek movies with the storyline for any possible sequel, I offer the following:

Thrown off course by the gravity of the 2 newly created black holes, V'Ger (Star Trek: The Motion Picture) goes off course and veers away from Earth. It encounters and destroys the SS Botany Bay (The Wrath of Khan, The Search for Spock), the Whale Probe (The Voyage Home) and the Klingon moon Praxis (Undiscovered Country). Sybok perished on Vulcan, because god forbid we have to relive The Final Frontier. Finally realizing it's waaaay off course, V'Ger course corrects and runs smack into the Planet Killer (TOS: The Doomsday Machine) and they mutually annihilate.

There you have it, case closed, kwitcher-bitchin.

... yeah and monkeys will warp out of my ass.

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