Relativity

It dawned on me the other day that I've now been out of High School longer than I had been alive when I graduated High School. Thinking back, these past 10 years have flown by, not to mention the decade before them. Where does the time go?

Fried on fried (and sugar)

Moving Christmas off the treadmill has not happened yet. Actually, I just need to beat a path through Christmas and find a different place for an eight-foot artificial tree, but even that seems to be a challenge at the moment.

So I'm going to put the treadmill on a back-burner for the moment.

Now before you start ranting that I'm falling off the proverbial wagon by failing at my last two attempts to modify my lifestyle, let me first say that I'm not just pushing it aside, I'm moving something else in to take its place: Fried food.

Or rather, the removal of such from my diet. This has actually been a goal of mine since the start of this whole "Live Healthier" effort, but I wanted to tackle the soda first and then try portion control. Soda's still completely out of my diet after almost 3 months. I miss it, but I'm happy it's not there anymore. Portion control failed miserably. Fried food I can do. Or not do. You know what I mean...

Of course, it's not completely a coincidence that I'm bringing up fried food now. I happened to have a pretty unpleasant day last Thursday after eating too many fried items at lunch. I ended up tasting that lunch for the rest of the day as it sat like a rock in my gut. Determined that this was no way to enjoy a meal, I decided that it would be the perfect time to modify "fried" out of my gastronomic vocabulary.

No more french fries, onion rings, fried chicken, battered cod, corn dogs or anything else that requires submersion in boiling oil to achieve a "cooked" state. Fries are my big one... the rest not so much, but they do creep in from time to time so I thought I'd mention them.

To go along with fried, I'm also excising all items that are overtly sugary like the hot cocoa I sometimes drink at work or the half-and-half tea (half sweet, half unsweet to those living outside the South) I've been ordering at times at restaurants. Seems obvious that I shouldn't be drinking them anyway given the whole "no soda" effort, but I guess they've been a crutch. (Artificial sweeteners don't work for me, don't ask me to explain.) Well, no more.

I've been sticking to these new rules since Saturday morning and so far I've lost 3 pounds. I was actually lighter this evening after dinner than I was when I woke up this morning. And that's eating normal meals, just skipping anything fried, breaded or battered and ordering water in place of tea at restaurants.

Hey, this could work!

Yes, I'm a geek

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present This Week's "The Big Bang Theory" Moment From Carl's Real, Actual, Non-edited or Embellished Life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
INT. CHILD'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

A father, CARL, and son, CONNOR, sit on a glider. CONNOR is in CARL's lap, and CARL is reading from the children's board book "STAR WARS SPACESHIPS".

CARLPointing to a picture of the DEATH STAR surrounded by other ships, straight from the final battle scene in RETURN OF THE JEDI.

            Death Star... this ship has a Dangerous Laser.

CARL closes the book, revealing another picture of the DEATH STAR on the back cover. This second image is just the DEATH STAR, there are no other ships.

             The End.

CONNORPointing at the DEATH STAR on the back of the book.

            Moon?

CARLSmiles.
      (BEAT)

            That's no moon. It's a space station.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This has been This Week's "The Big Bang Theory" Moment From Carl's Real, Actual, Non-edited or Embellished Life. Please join us next week for another exciting installment.

Lost: "Dr. Linus" [Spoilers, m'kay?]

I've been a rabid fan of Lost for several years and with the final season upon us, I've been talking about Lost a lot with a few of my coworkers and friends who are nice enough to suffer my rantings. I've been coming in and shooting off an e-mail with notes and questions about the previous night's episode for a few weeks now and figured these would also make good blog posts and maybe elicit some discussion from all 3 of you out there who read my blog.

So without further ado, my notes for last night's episode. To help understand some of my ramblings, any characters name with an "X" after it refers to the version of them in the Flash-Sideways reality (the one where the plane never crashed on the island). I'm also abbreviating Flash-Sideways as "FS" in some places.

• So, it looks like my friend Terry was right after all that the “chains” Richard were in were the chains on the Black Rock and that he was most likely on that ship when it came to the island. Good call. (I'd been thrown by Ilana's reference to Richard as Ricardus and thought that maybe he'd been from the Roman era... not too crazy an idea given all the Egyptian artifacts on the island.)

• I’m sooo completely retracting my thoughts about how the character episodes lined up with Season 1. Ben wasn’t even in Season 1. (There was a theory that the Season 6 episodes were paralleling the Season 1 episodes, at least regarding which character was being focused on... the past 2 episodes have refuted that theory).

• While we’re on BenX, some more hints as to what happened on the island after “the incident”, or at least the hydrogen bomb version of the incident that we saw last season. BenX’s dad had an interesting choice of words, saying “if we hadn’t left”. Seems to imply that there was choice in the matter. “If we hadn’t had to leave” or “if we hadn’t been forced off” or “if we hadn’t been sent back” would have implied no choice. So what exactly did happen after the whiteout that the inhabitants didn’t have to leave unless they wanted to? Does this imply that the sinking of the island wasn’t an immediate effect?

• BenX’s dad isn’t mad at him for killing his mother. Does this imply that there was a forgiving moment at some point after the incident or perhaps that she died in some other way and the alcoholic bitterness never existed. If that’s the case, I’ll wonder again if the incident changed events from 1977 forward only, or if it had further reaching impact in the past.

• While we’re on fathers… BenX didn’t kill his dad and seemingly wasn’t hated by his dad. JackX has a son and is a much better father than ChristianX, though it would seem that ChristianX was still a bad dad. LockeX’s father presumably didn’t factor much into his life, otherwise Helen wouldn’t still be with him. It remains to be seen how he was paralyzed in the FS timeline. Next week is looking to be a Sawyer episode… will we find out that SawyerX’s mother was never conned by LockeX’s dad and both his parents are still alive or died from other causes that didn’t result in him wanting to seek vengeance on “Tom Sawyer”? It seems that all the “father issues” in the original timeline are non-existent in the FS timeline. Though much more pedestrian, the FS timeline inhabitants lives are seemingly better. Lends some weight behind my theory that the FS timeline will become the dominant timeline at the end.

• Exception to the father issue theory would be AlexX… she doesn’t seem to have a dad (RousseauX has 2 jobs) or maybe he’s just a deadbeat. Perhaps since she’s one of the few who had a father that gave a damn in the original timeline, her FS self is the one with father issues? Also her being at BenX’s school reinforces the thought that somehow all the island inhabitants in the FS reality are going to join up at one time in one place like some Close Encounters moment and their gathering will shape the end of the game. Remember that Ben told Lapidis that the island got him anyway? Foreshadowing by the writers?

• Last word on Ben (for now). In both timelines, even though he’s an insufferable manipulative bastard, you kinda feel sorry for him now. It was good to see his “redemption” last night. And was it just me or did anyone else notice the soft focus lens they used on everyone when he got back to the beach after being forgiven by Ilana? It fringed the picture with a white haze. Almost like he was entering some heavenly place. Just coincidence of lighting?

• Curious to find out what’s up with Widmore. Is he going to park the sub at the Dharma dock or the Looking Glass or join up with Locke at the Hydra? Is he bringing Wallace with him? You don’t need a lighthouse if you’re underwater… this could be that “other way” that Jacob referred to.

• For that matter, I’d love to find out about WidmoreX, EloiseX & FaradayX. Also RichardX.

• The number 6 keeps appearing. 6 numbers, Oceanic 6, 6 candidates (6 seasons?). Strange that Ilana would say that there are 6 candidates left when she knows that Locke is dead and believes that “Kwon” means either Sun or Jin but not both. Who’s the 6th? Wallace?

• I would have liked more of a soliloquy moment form Jack last night. His conversion from man of science/fact to man of faith/hope was almost too sudden. It would have been nice to have heard a little more of his reasoning about why he’s suddenly putting his life in Jacob’s hands. It wasn’t as bad as some of the sudden character changes in Heroes that drove me away, but it was close. A few sentences about not being able to explain all the crazy things he’s seen would have reinforced his conversion. Saying that he’s decided that he wants to either end it by dying or end it by finding out why Jacob chose him but either way he was tired of the game and wanted it to end… that would have been good too. I’m waiting to see the “Let go and let Jacob” bumper stickers.

What’d I miss?

More through less

Anyone who knows me well knows that I've struggled with my weight for most of my life. I'm not morbidly obese, but I'm by no means skinny.

With the exception of the first 9 years of my life - when my parents feared that I was malnourished because I wouldn't finish my Happy Meals - I've always been either overweight or dieting. Those Happy Meals I didn't finish turned into Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger Meals that I'd chow down without a second thought just 4 years later, which put me in a weight class in PE Wrestling with all the really tall, really buff guys in my grade. Needless to say, I didn't like PE.

Throughout it all - the weight gain, diets, weight gain, etc - I've remained largely unchanged (no pun intended). Short of restricting myself to veggie sandwiches at Subway, I've tried most of the diets out there, some more seriously than others, but all with the same results... I fall off the wagon and gain it all back within 6 months.

So this year, I've decided to take a different route. No fad diets, not even going to concentrate on weight. I'm just going to make small tweaks to my eating habits and lifestyle to improve my general health. And if I lose weight in the process, great, but it's about getting healthy first and foremost.

To this end, I gave up soda on January 4th and have not had a drop since. My close friends may now pick their jaws up off the floor. My 6-pack a day habit was the stuff of legend. I'm not off caffeine - still drinking green tea at work - but at least I'm off the sugar.

The green tea was an earlier tweak (lifehack?) from last year when I switched from Earl Grey. As yummy as Earl Grey was, I tended to like it with a lot of cream and sugar which I'm sure negated any health benefit. When I also found out that Bergamot inhibited the body's uptake of Potassium, I promptly switched. I'd been suffering from some pretty bad calf-cramps at night and ever since switching to green tea they're gone. I'd always connected the cramps to a potassium deficiency, but I couldn't figure out why I was so deficient.

I'm going to continue to either remove an unhealthy habit or add a healthy habit to my life once about every 3 weeks this year (since they say... somewhere... that it takes 3 weeks for you to turn something into a regular habit). Later in January I started doing sit-ups and push-ups and now I'm into Portion Control...

To see how these changes affect me, I'm tracking my weight and waist measurement (around my belly & love handles, not where I wear my belt). Both dropped significantly after giving up soda, but have since plateaued and actually rebounded a bit. But hey, that's OK, this isn't about weight, it's about living healthier. And I do feel healthier.

Future tweaks will include giving up fried foods (yes, no more french fries, though I may have to make an annual exception for latkes), starting to walk on the treadmill again, eating less red meat, adding more fruits and veggies to my diet, etc. So far it's been easier to remove than to add, but that's to be expected.

So wish me luck and I'll try to post more frequently to keep you up to date on my progress and as an added incentive for me to commit to some of the harder tweaks (since I'd rather not report failure).

Frog In Boiling Water

There was a time when the news of the day was monitored by professional editors who decided what was factual based on research and what was not, what was worthwhile sharing with the public and what would cause unnecessary panic, what was reporting and what was editorial opinion.

And then came ratings. And those decisions moved to producers.

And then came tabloids and "A Current Affair". And gossip became news.

And then came radio talk shows and cable news programs. And the opinion of a single individual could reach millions and confuse celebrity with journalism.

And then came the Internet and blogging. And innuendo and untruths were afforded legitimacy by hacks with personal and/or malicious motivations.

I'm not suggesting that the truth isn't out there, but the filters are most definitely off, and with the death of newspapers around the corner, I cringe at the possible future of what we call "news".

"Where's Elvis?"

A few weeks back we were out at a Chili's for lunch and to keep Connor occupied we were having him point out things in the ubiquitous photos that cover their walls. "Where's the doggie?", "Where's the airplane?", etc.

Then, just for fun, while looking at one of the photos of a couple in Elvis wigs & glasses wearing Elvis T-Shirts, I asked Connor, "Where's Elvis?"

And, *BAM*, his hand shoots right to the picture of Elvis on the T-Shirt.

Shocked expressions followed by raucous laughter. Thinking this might be a fluke, I asked him to point out a few other things and then came back to the Elvis question and *BAM* right back to Elvis.

Now Misha and I have never taught him "Elvis". To our knowledge he's never seen Elvis and has no idea who Elvis is. He has a "Ten Little Elvi" book that was a gift, but since it's not a board book we haven't given it to him yet, so that can't be it.

So this begs the question...

Did someone teach our son Elvis without our knowledge... or is Elvis just something we're all born with.

Sounds like a great "In Search Of" episode to me.

Microsoft Math

We're looking to buy a new PC for my wife, her's is getting on in years and starting to get slow with all these newfangled whippersnapper programs that require more CPU and Memory than her 8 year old machine can provide.

One of the things I'm insisting on is that we wait until after October 22nd so that her PC will come with Windows 7 instead of Vista. Not that I don't like Vista - I'm using it now - but why pay for an on-the-way-out-the-door-to-the-scrap-heap OS when a shiny new and highly-lauded OS is only a few months away?

The thing is, I still can't get over the fact that they're calling it Windows 7. Yes, I know people have been talking about this fact for a bit, but for those who are unaware, sit with me a while.

Windows 1.0, 2.0 came and went but it wasn't until 3.0 that it really got a strong foothold over DOS... at least in my world. There were various flavors of 3.0 (3.1, 3.11) but these are all technically Windows 3.0. The next iteration of Windows would be Windows NT, which was a winner until the dawn of Windows 95 (and all those "Start me up" Rolling Stones commercials... remember those?) For those still keeping track, we're on Windows 5 now.

Anyway, the rest of the 90s rambled on with new versions of Windows that were basically just more stable versions of Win95: Win 98/98se, Windows 2000/Me (or Millennium... I guess the "e" was for "entertainment"? or maybe "eh"?) which fall on the list as Win 6 & 7. Windows 8 would be XP. Vista: Windows 9. And now Windows 7 should really be Windows 10.

So what gives, Microsoft? Why the creative math? Is this all just because Apple beat you to the punch with "OSX"?

Just googling around...

Not sure if I should feel happy or depressed that a Google Image search on "Carl Gomberg" doesn't turn up a single picture of me. Plenty of pics of friends from Facebook though. And my Twitter avatar:

Yahoo Image Search just turns up a pic of my son and the pugs dressed for Christmas/Hanukkah 2007.

Only Bing pulls up an image of me. My old Facebook profile pic.

Go figure that Microsoft would actually get it right in this instance.

Carl's Guide to TOS Movies in JJ Abrams' Alternate Trek Universe

[Warning: SPOILERS]

For those Trekkers who are consumed by trying to figure out how Abrams will reconcile the events that take place in the first 6 Star Trek movies with the storyline for any possible sequel, I offer the following:

Thrown off course by the gravity of the 2 newly created black holes, V'Ger (Star Trek: The Motion Picture) goes off course and veers away from Earth. It encounters and destroys the SS Botany Bay (The Wrath of Khan, The Search for Spock), the Whale Probe (The Voyage Home) and the Klingon moon Praxis (Undiscovered Country). Sybok perished on Vulcan, because god forbid we have to relive The Final Frontier. Finally realizing it's waaaay off course, V'Ger course corrects and runs smack into the Planet Killer (TOS: The Doomsday Machine) and they mutually annihilate.


There you have it, case closed, kwitcher-bitchin.

... yeah and monkeys will warp out of my ass.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Yeah, it's been a while.

And that fact, frankly, has been keeping me away.

Because there's a ton of stuff I'd love to tell you about that's happened since February.

Like Connor's now walking and talking.

And ... well that's been pretty consuming in itself.

So instead of taking the time to type up all the juicy details of the past 3 months, I'm just going to start anew.

Yup. Anew.

Wacky Victorian Economics

If hot cross buns are "one a penny" and "two a penny", why would you ever just buy one?

Curious...

Ever notice how the universal PC icon for "Save" is a 3.5-inch floppy disk?

When was the last time you saved anything to a floppy disk?

... But Will We?

Connor's daycare was closed today due to the local schools being closed.

The local schools were all closed due to a few inches of snow on the ground.

Yes, you read that correctly.

People here in Charlotte go bonkers when the weatherman says "Snow". It's like the proverbial yelling of "Fire" in a crowded theater. You can't find Milk or Bread anywhere, nobody wants to go out on the roads, the people who are driving are either out of control or driving one tenth the posted limit, and everything closes down for the day.

Except, of course, our offices. So since my company's telecommuting policies are a bit more lax than Misha's, I stayed home to work and babysit and take a half-day hit on my PTO bank so that Misha wouldn't have to take a full 8 hours on hers.

While Connor was asleep for his midday nap, I took in some of the inauguration. It was interesting that all of the former presidents were announced by their full name, but Obama's middle name was just given as "H". Not sure why they chose to do that during the introductions but then used his full middle name (Hussein) during the oath. Rick Warren's prayer was an interesting moment, full of passionate calls for "freedom for all people". Except Gay people who want to marry, I suppose. There was a cute moment when, during John Williams' musical arrangement, Michelle Obama reached forward and squeezed Barak Obama's shoulder as the clock ticked past noon, the official time of transition, regardless of when the oath is taken. And Obama's speech was very good. Very inspiring.

Obama's campaign slogan was "Yes We Can" and while I fully believe that any individual or group "can", it's an entirely different thing when it comes down to whether they "will". I'd like to believe that we can all work together toward restoring our economy and our global reputation, but when I hear someone like Warren gush about "freedom" after being so outspoken against gay marriage, it just feels like more of the same. Because in the end, my freedom isn't necessarily your freedom and everyone's freedom somehow tramples on someone else's in some small way. But you'll never hear anyone say "we're all entitled to freedom ... except you."

So the next year will tell most of the story I believe. There will be the rallying issues and the divisive issues, the victories and the losses, the rewards and the sacrifices and I hope in the end we're all better for it in some way that matters to each of us. I just hope that those who "can" rally "will", those who "can" contribute to victory "will" and those who "can" afford to make sacrifices "will". Even those who voted for McCain. Because I think that's the only way that we'll be able to survive the next 4 years without imploding.

Nicknames we've given to Connor

Sweetheart
Sweetie
Pumpkin
Boy
The Boy
Buddy
Guy
Fruitcake
Munchkin
Monkey
Buckaroo
Stinker
(Any of the above preceded by "Little" )
Monkeyboy
Buddy Boy
Rug Rat
Snickers (he used to laugh softly in his sleep)
Trotter (you should see him crawl!)

I just hope he remembers that his name is Connor...

Reflections on 2008

Once again, in no particular order:

- It's possible to own a house for a year and still not be moved in

- Charlotte is roughly the same latitude as Santa Barbara

- I don't miss San Diego half as much as I thought I would

- Landscaping is expensive... Hardscaping more so... Day Care, don't ask...

- "Recession" is a four-letter-word

- Your child's smile erases the day's hardships in a nanosecond

- Pugs will pretty much eat anything

- Amazingly, fried pickles are really good (though I understand it depends greatly on where you order them)

- Facebook is both the coolest and most annoying thing on the internet

- Once again, I need to lose weight

- My life is rich with memories, but I'm also buried in crap

- I blog, therefore I wonder who reads

- It is possible to know too much about UPC standards

- 80s arcade games are hard to find

- I think there were 2 weeks this year when Connor wasn't sick with something or other

- A grown man in a full pirate costume will get more stares at the neighborhood Halloween Party than the guy in the Spongebob costume (I was the pirate)

- A grown man in a full pirate costume will be largely ignored during Pirate Weekend at the local Renaissance Festival (I was not the pirate)

- All the crazy drivers come out during the holidays

- I can't believe it's already been another year...

Pics from Connor's first year

It's mind boggling to think it's already been one year! Well, mind boggling to us, Connor seems a little unimpressed by the fact that he's a year old.

A few of our little guy's current accomplishments:

• He now has 8 teeth: 4 top front and 4 bottom front
  
• He's crawling lightning fast
  
• He is standing for short periods of time (8 seconds is the record)
  
• He loves to dance and...
  
• He can't get enough of his stuffed ravioli dinners.
  

We can only imagine what this next year has in store for us! Enjoy the next set!

Connor's 12th Month and A Look Back At Year One

Previous installments (just in case you missed any):

11 Months

10 Months

9 months

8 months

7 months

6 months

5 months

4 months

Beginning of 4th month

3 months

The Bathroom Door

The more I hear about MRSA, the more of a germaphobe I become. Unfortunately, this has led me down some paths of truly bizarre logic.

Take, for instance, the the door to the men's room at my office.

Like most men's rooms, you push the door to open it. And like most there's a metal plate where you're supposed to do the pushing.

For as long as I can remember, I've always avoided the "men's room door plate" like the plague, envisioning all the other people who've touched that plate and figuring that I was literally avoiding the plague by avoiding the plate. I've picked some spot above or below or to the side of that plate to push on instead.

Until today.

Today I had an epiphany as I was approaching the men's room: That door is filthy. The plate is shiny with nary a finger smudge on it. Everyone else is ALSO avoiding the plate which, when you think about it, is THE ONLY PLACE ON THE DOOR THAT ACTUALLY GETS CLEANED REGULARLY BY THE HOUSEKEEPING STAFF.

Ew.

So now I just go outside and pee in the bushes.

Election 2008

I've been getting a lot of e-mail from friends about the upcoming election. I have friends on both sides of the spectrum and some in the middle, so it's an interesting array of messages that I find in my inbox these days.

What's concerning to me is - both in these e-mails and in conversations I've had and overheard recently - there's more pertaining to race and gender than the issues. I worry that as the election draws nearer, it will become more and more about race and gender than issues, and that's somewhat frightening.

Let me try to sum this up for everyone that's been inspired to vote based on the race or gender of the candidates:

It's not the history that will be made by either party on 11/4/2008 that's critical to the future of our nation, it's the history that will be made after 1/20/2009 that will matter.

Study the issues. Learn about the candidates. Make an informed decision.

We're all counting on you.

All Good Things...

One of our favorite things to do when we lived in California was to go to Las Vegas. And one of my favorite things to to at Vegas was to ride on Star Trek: The Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton.

I've been a fan of The Experience since it first opened and enjoyed it immensely. The practical effects were second to none. I mean, c'mon: they completely redress an entire room as you're standing in it (with the lights off) in about 20 seconds. And not only is the room different, it's seemingly inconceivably bigger based on the dimensions where you know you just were moments ago. I was lucky enough to take the "backstage tour" when they started offering it and got to see the workings of that effect with the lights on and it's still breathtaking.

The highlight for any Next Generation fan was a stop on a reproduction of the bridge of the Enterprise-D. (And if you're a TNG fan, you'll recognize the title of this post and its relevance.) As a special treat, the facility also hosted weddings on the bridge, something that was always a secret dream. (Ok, not so secret if you know my love of Star Trek.) I know my wife would never go for our actual wedding on the bridge, but she'd agreed it might be fun to do one day to renew our vows. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my wife?

But, alas, all is for naught, for The Powers That Be have decided that after 11 years, The Experience will be serving it's last patron on September 1, 2008. I can't believe it, and yet somehow I can see that it was inevitable. The Experience sits in a large section of the hotel and is attached to a Space-themed casino (complete with a mock-urinalysis when you used the men's room urinals) that was largely vacant most days. And the price of The Experience kept going up. And they gutted one half of the attraction to build an updated Borg 4-D adventure that was pretty cool but not nearly as groundbreaking as the original Next Generation ride (which was still there thankfully). Heck, they even Borged-out one of the fancy new Monorail cars to try to advertise the ride and get more traffic.

A lot of time and effort and money went into keeping that place running and there was apparently not enough to show for it so the hotel's owners decided that they could make more money with that space (no pun intended) if they got rid of The Experience and put something else there.

I'm sure we'll be back in Las Vegas one day soon. I hope whatever they decide to replace The Experience with is worth it. And a small part of me hopes they're able to save the sets and I'll still be able to renew my vows on the bridge of the Enterprise-D with my beautiful wife and some guy presiding who looks vaguely like Patrick Stewart.

Hey, a guy can dream...